POV: It’s 7:00 PM on a Tuesday night, and you’re more exhausted than the time you did back-to-back Tracy Anderson. Jake is out of town on a golf trip, and the thought of turning on the oven is literally nauseating. Salmon and cauli rice from Trader Joe's? You’d rather wait in line at Paul’s without a table. After pouring yourself a fat glass of red, you open the UberEats app and start aimlessly scrolling.
Sweetgreen is always the move, but how many times can you have spicy broccoli? You may as well turn into cashew dressing at this point. You laugh, thinking about the time your sister’s coworker told her she was “brave” for indulging in such a caloric dressing.
Overwhelmed by the chaotic abyss of make-your-own bowls and paleo alternatives, you type “what to order for delivery” into Google.
Here is what you found.
My order: Sushi Premium (10 pieces nigiri w/ wasabi + negitoro roll). If feeling wild & crazy, I’ll add the spicy scallop roll.
Price: $47 + $12 = $59
My order: Large Chicken Zoodle Soup (classic chicken broth, free-range chicken meat & zucchini noodles).
Price: $13.50
My order: Kale salad (marinated onions, dried cranberries, pumpkin seeds, candied walnuts, w/ blue cheese, add 5 oz grilled sirloin medium rare, lemon olive oil dressing).
Price: $27
My order: Build your own box (spicy salmon, spicy blue crab, shrimp scallion, yellowtail scallion with cauliflower rice) + miso soup
Price: $33 + $7 = $40
My order: Pesto Pasta (asparagus, broccoli, zucchini, spinach, penne pasta in house-made pesto. W/cheese)
Price: $24
My order: Keto Shirataki Ramen (low calorie and zero carb shirataki noodles in a classic Tonkotsu broth with chicken breast Chashu).
Price: $17.50
My order: Grass-Fed cubed steak & lemon zoodles (salt & pepper steak, parsley, thyme, lemon, coconut aminos, extra virgin olive oil).
Price: $25.95
My order: Create your own fresh bowl (cauliflower rice, edamame hummus, sauteed kale and onions, honeynut squash, chili sesame soy, hard-boiled marinated egg, roasted chicken, thai basil, nori crumble).
Price: $31.50
My order: Bulgogi Beef Bibimbap (seasoned bean sprout, baby spinach, corn, carrot, radish, zucchini, nori seaweed, sunny side up egg, no rice, soy sauce).
Price: $21.00
My order: Katz’s Pastrami + Potato Latkes (applesauce obviously) + Matzo Ball Soup
Price: $30.95 + $17.95 + $10.45 = $59.35
My order: Peri-Peri Chicken
Price: $30.00
My order: Cacio e Pepe (make gluten-free)
Price: $22.00
My order: Pasta Limone
Price: $22.95
My order: Grilled Organic Tofu Bowl (garlic soy, ginger, sesame oil, house mixed salad, charred brussels sprouts, Sichuan chili cucumbers, chili lime sauce).
Price: $19.95
My order: Mango Salad Bowl (mixed green base, arugula, avocado, cherry tomato, pickled onion, mango, sesame seeds, herb vinaigrette).
Price: $28.45
My order: Vodka Fra Diablo
Price: $45
My order: 4 Roll Maki Set (Salmon Avocado Maki, Toro Scallion Maki, Scallop Yuzu Maki, Salmon Ikura Maki).
Price: $37
My Order: Sushi Entree (9 nigiri, swap California roll for salmon avocado roll wrapped in cucumber)
Price: $38.21
My Order: 8 PC Chef Special Sushi Set
Price: $49
My Order: Shrimp Avocado Salad (avocado, cherry tomatoes, watermelon radish, snow peas, bibb lettuce, arugula, chives, mustard cider-vinaigrette).
Price: $18
My Order: Shirataki Pad Thai (Keto noodles, egg bean sprouts, chives, crushed peanuts, lime wedge, tofu).
Price: $16.95
My Order: Cold noodles with sesame sauce + scallion pancakes + pork meat soup dumplings
Price: $12.95 + $8.95 + $15.95 = $37.85
My Order: Crispy Duck Pad Thai (bean sprouts, scallions, red onion, egg, peanuts).
Price: $30.00
My Order: Lamb Arayes + 12 Chairs Salad (avocado, grapefruit, roasted pecans, mesclun greens, 12 chairs vinaigrette).
Price: $25 + 17 = $42
My Order: Taramosalata + Side of Cucumbers + Chicken Souvlaki Stick X2
Price: $9.00 + $2.50 + $8 = $19.5
My Order: Sashimi Plate (three pieces of tuna, three pieces salmon, three pieces yellowtail, three pieces flukes, two pieces white tuna, with miso soup).
Price: $35.25
My Order: Regular poke bowl (spring mix salad, salmon, don poke sauce, hijiki seaweed mango, avocado, kani salad, shredded nori seaweed, furikake).
Price: $17.95
My Order: Papaya Salad (peanuts, diced shrimp, string beans, tomatoes, chili, fish sauce, garlic, mild heat) + Pad Chinese Eggplant with shrimp.
Price: $19 + $24.00 = $43
My Order: Build-your-own wrap (honey breast turkey, sauerkraut, avocado, sliced pickles, mustard). Call and ask for lettuce wrap!
Price: $17.14
Although I rarely cheat on Ubereats (no, this isn’t sponsored; it’s just the premier platform), I will make an exception for two of my *favorite& delivery spots in New York City.
What I order: Akita Set (selection of 8 nigiri, bluefin toro roll, and Hokkaido scallop roll)
Price: $44.95
What I Order: Whole Juanita's Chicken (dark meat only) + 160z Aji Verde (the famous “green sauce”).
Price: $31 + $6 = $37