The best hot girl happy meals in New York, according to @crumbsofnyc.

Every hot girl needs three things: a martini, a burger, and fries served in a tiny silver cup. High maintenance? Never heard of her.

It’s not quite dinner-dinner. It’s not “girl dinner” either. It’s something in between: messier, sexier, saltier. It’s your New York happy meal—cold gin, juicy meat, and a fried side of “I’ll probably text him later.” Bonus points if the barstool is velvet and the ketchup comes in a ramekin.

And no one understands this craving quite like Madeline of @crumbsofnyc, our go-to food whisperer and downtown supper club queen.

She’s the girl you spot solo at the bar with a dirty gin and her favorite Substack. Or lined up at a secret bodega that only serves burgers after midnight. Either way, she’s not ordering a salad ... and she’s definitely asking for extra pickles.

Madeline doesn’t just find the best spots—she sees the whole scene. The flatware. The banquette color. The exact crunch of the fry. Hanoi in the spring. Tribeca on a Tuesday. Always in search of meals that taste like a mood.

So here it is: Madeline’s guide to the ultimate trifecta—burgers, fries, and a tini bigger than his ...

Le B

Le B is an intimate little supper club tucked away on the cobbled streets of W 11th in the West Village, and honestly, this is the ideal solo meal for me. A huge mound of fries on top of a pink napkin, a burger stacked with red-wine caramelized onions, a good notebook to write in, and a filthy gin martini. It's peaceful in that corner-of-the-world way where no one would ever dare bother you.

Soso’s

This is the burger + martini combo to get around 4 p.m. after a long day of shopping around SoHo. It’s casual and colorful, like an elevated watering hole. Love the slider-style setup — super easy to share and snack on before dinner plans.

4 Charles

No brainer. Best one on the list by far. It’s hard to believe something can taste this good, and for some reason it always hits even harder during an 11 p.m. reservation. Always order a salty dirty tini to cut through the decadence — egg, thick-cut bacon, and I’d argue the creamed spinach is a sleeper hit.

Swoony’s

Holy happy meal moment. This is the most elevated Big Mac I’ve ever had. There’s something about that ketchup-y, mustardy, mayo-y sauce with pickles and American cheese that people think is too basic, but it always wins. Tastes like a McDonald’s reward after sports practice in the best possible way.

Bernie’s

It’s the feeling Bernie’s gives you. The burger is solid, but it’s the air in there — mozzarella sticks, crayons on tablecloths — that makes the combo of burger and martini (or cosmo) taste so damn good. You get it.

Portrait Bar

This spot just makes sense for a burger and martini. Something about a swanky hotel lounge always yields a surprisingly great burger (same with hotel pools, honestly). The martinis don’t play — extra crisp in those tall, skinny-stemmed glasses, plus you get a sidecar. Always a flex.

Hoexter’s

It’s the yellow mustard. That’s the headline. Also, you can wash it down with caviar. There’s just something about eating a burger in the UES amidst plaid walls — it feels chic but never pretentious. A bistro that serves martinis without giving you a headache? Gold.

Red Hook Tavern

Popular for a reason. Pairs beautifully with an Aperol too, but the real vibe is sitting at a picnic table outside in Red Hook with this burger and a martini in hand, sea breeze included. Peak late-summer energy.

Ferdi (Honorary Abroad Mention)

Probably the best bite I’ve ever had. Absolutely smothered in au poivre sauce and (controversially) cooked rare, with the crispiest shoestring fries on the side. Located in one of Paris' prime shopping zones — the kind of place where you shove all your bags under the table and sit in the sun like life’s a movie.