Intrusive thoughts. Ruminating thoughts. Catastrophic thoughts. Anxious thoughts. What-if thoughts. Obsessive thoughts. Call them what you want — we’ve all been caught in that mental loop that tells us we’re not enough. For many of us, our brains have been wired to replay the negative and cling to doubt and shame like a bad habit. These thought patterns rarely reflect reality, and yet we treat them as truth.
I’m not claiming to be a psychologist, nor am I trying to “Fluentsplain” the mechanics of rumination. I just want to shine a light on something deeply universal: the messiness of being human. If you’ve ever felt “fucked up” or “broken” for having these kinds of thoughts, let me reassure you — you’re not. You’re just alive.
So I did what any self-aware, semi-unhinged Gen-Z would do: I opened my Notes app (arguably more terrifying than Hinge) and pulled together a list of some of my mental spirals from over the years. Not for sympathy. Just in case someone out there needs a reminder that they’re not alone.
Now, without further ado, here’s me absolutely exposing myself. You’re welcome, ya nosy bitches.
- Do my friends not like me?
- I’m not smart enough
- I’m not pretty enough
- I’m not skinny enough
- Am I behind in life?
- Are people going to judge me?
- Are they mad at me?
-Why did I do that? Why did I say that?
- Why didn’t I see the signs?
- What if I’m making the wrong decision?
- What if I never find my calling?
- Do people think I'm a joke? Annoying? Weird?
- Am I going to disappoint my parents? My friends? Myself?
- Are we drifting?
- Is my life stagnant?
-Am I lovable?
- Am I failing at being an adult?
- Am I just lucky?
- What if I’m not cut out for this?
- Will I be able to turn it around?
- Does that make me a bad person?
- Did I do something to deserve this?
- What if I fail?
- Am I enough?
Cover photo: Pinterest
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