Photo courtesy of Elijah Harlow
Going out in the Hamptons is a beast — a beast with a blowout and white linens.
Slaying the beast requires a little bit of finesse, a lotta bit of someone else’s Amex (and all of your dignity) and the diplomacy of a political mastermind.
We’re counting our blessings because the ultimate appreciator of the game, Elijah Harlow, has done the hard work for us.
Fluent in the Miami b2b New York lifestyle, the modern-day communications expert and founder of Dream Global Consulting knows exactly where and when to rally when you find yourself in the land of rosé and noise complaints.
Like, what, you went to the Hamptons to relax?
Read on for Elijah’s cheat sheet to navigating nightlife out East.
Warning: we strongly advise against hopping from town to town in one night. Unless you don’t mind being hundreds of dollars poorer in Uber charges.
If you have a driver, on the other hand….
Surf Lodge
Website
The crème de la crème, the cream of the crop. We wish this place wasn’t as amazing as it seems, but unfortunately for your sanity… it is. However, don’t be angry when it seems impossible to get in.
Instead, focus that energy on finding someone else to get you in. Dancing on the deck while the sun sets is one of the best feelings out East. Oh, and get that food tower assortment. The lobster rolls happen to be one of our favorites.
Common Ground East
You see the disco ball hanging from the ceiling on everyone’s IG story the whole summer and wonder if it’s worth it. It very much is, if you can get in before the fire marshal shuts it down for the night because every resident of East Hampton is also trying to get in.
Bonus points if you’re up behind the DJ booth. It’s a truly great vibe. Especially if John Summit pops up to DJ. IYKYK.
Gurney’s Montauk Resort
Website
Ahhh Gurney’s. So, you want to sip rosé while looking up at the most gorgeous hotel in Montauk with your feet in the water? Great… head to their beach and take it in while dancing to a mediocre DJ (that’s what makes it fun).
Even more fun, but even harder to get into? Their fire pits. Ask your friend’s friend who you overheard at Surf Lodge saying they have a table there, and ask to go with them. If they say yes, congrats, you’re in for a night.
Montauk Project
Website
Relatively new to town – last year it was all the rage. This year, we’re sure it will be again. Why? Because it’s another spot to scout for your future spouse while slowly losing hope.
However, they do, in fact, have a nice set-up there, so saddle up and enjoy the ride because it will most likely be a good night if you don’t run into your ex-situationship.
Stephen Talkhouse
Website
Talk to me about Stephen Talkhouse. Well, it’s to the Hamptons what Belly Up is to Aspen. They’ve been around going on 40 years, and we’d say it’s a necessary spot for more old-school vibes with a crowd of both locals and every out-of-towner looking to kick it back.
The lines give Surf Lodge a run for its money.
Southampton Social Club
Website
Mhmmm. Southampton social. Did my ex maybe cheat on me there with Olivia Ponton? Maybe. Will that stop me from going back on a random Wednesday night when I’m stuck staying at a friend’s house in Southampton? Maybe not. It has its purpose.
Ketchy Beach
Website
Ketchy Beach in Southampton is a summer pop-up from the team behind Ketchy Shuby NYC. They have good food, and if the vibe is in any way equal to the vibrant energy of its SoHo counterpart, then we’re in. Catch us under the cabanas.
Mary Lou’s MTK
Do we know a lot about Mary Lou’s? No. But, are we interested in checking it out this summer? Yes. We’ll report back to you whether it’s worth the hype. If it’s as good of a time as the renderings are beautiful, seems like we have our answer.
Mary Lou’s sure is the talk of the town down in Palm Beach, so we have a good feeling about it.
Palma Day Club
Instagram / Website
Similar to Mary Lou’s, we really don’t know much about Palma Day Club. What we do know is that it seems to be Montauk’s newest addition to the day club line-up.
Again, we’ll report back to you if we’ll be taking time away from our other fave spots in Montauk for this. One thing we know is the line will be shorter than Surf Lodge. Do with that what you will.
Bounce Beach
Instagram / Website
Well, well…we’ve made it to Bounce. Is it our go-to spot in Montauk? No, but it’s fun on a messy chaotic night when the purpose of that night is going to your rich friend’s table who promised you they’re ordering bottles of Dom.
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