Hinge is a battlefield, and we’re all warriors for using it. If you have swiping fatigue, worry not because chances are you can automatically eliminate these classic Hinge offenders in less time than it takes you to roll your eyes.
Newcomers and veterans alike, there’s not a chance you haven’t come across these sinful responses after one or two swipes. Let’s be real, a lot of these prompts elicit an unfavorable answer, and the mere fact they’re being used in what is essentially the elevator pitch to this guy’s personality is already questionable.
Disclaimer: the forthcoming content may or may not be dramatized for entertainment purposes, and said offender can still be a perfectly nice guy—perhaps even your husband (but, I hope not).
Typical Sunday
"Football"
You can totally be into football, too, but something about this one-word assertion tells me that this kind of guy wants you get to lost on a Sunday—and he’ll make this desire known.
My therapist would say I
"Have problems"
"Should see her more often"
We love a self-aware guy, but it’s not overly comforting to know that this person you’ve never met before has already proclaimed he has *issues* and even worse, isn’t doing anything about it.
What I order for the table
"Tables can’t eat"
"Water"
"Tequila"
"Everything"
Immediate yawn. None of these answers are original (or funny) in the slightest.
The best way to ask me out is by
"Just ask"
I didn’t know that was my job. If a guy is using this prompt at all, it’s probably safe to assume
that minimal effort to impress you will be had.
First round is on me if
"It’s tequila"
Guys must know that every single other guy on this app is using this answer, too, right? This is giving low-effort, frat boy who is probably on Hinge to pass the time while on the toilet.
I’m looking for
"You"
"My car keys"
The first response is mildly creepy (Joe Goldberg vibes) and the second is overdone and basically implies this man is noncommittal and/or doesn’t give a f*ck.
My Love Language is
"Physical touch"
Shocker! We don’t need to know this…some things are meant to be found out naturally.
You should *not* go out with me if
"You’re vegan (or vegetarian/gluten-free/etc.)"
"You like xyz"
The overall exclusionary tone of this prompt is already off-putting, and it rarely ever results in a heartwarming answer. These answers, on the other hand, are the worst of the worst.
I’ll brag about you to my friends if
"You’re hot"
Self-explanatory.
Change my mind about
"Dating apps"
Not with that attitude!
A shower thought I recently had
"Too hot!"
Convinced that there’s a universal pact among all Hinge guys to respond to this prompt with this answer.
I’ll fall for you if
"You trip me"
This one is a real creative.
I’m the type of texter who
"Either responds immediately or in 10 days, there’s no in between"
If you’ve ever needed a red flag displayed to you in big, bold writing, here it is.
I know the best spot in town for
"Sushi"
He probably doesn’t.
The hallmark of a good relationship is
"Communication"
And trust, respect, loyalty, yada, yada. Chances are this guy probably doesn’t exhibit most of
these hallmarks.
Voice- prompt
(how to pronounce my name. Ben.)
(Proof I have musical talent)
Just no.
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